The Gypsy Chronicles

God has blessed such a pretty star.
Alborea




On Painting, Creativity and Critics
Alison Mackie

I had a highly critical mother and because she held her opinion in high regard, I did also. I was of the understanding that my mother's opinion was the only valid one in the world. Her constant commentary upon my very existence, I felt, was utterly crucial to my development. My ear was so finely tuned to her opinion that I never realized how negative it always was. Nor did I realize, at the time, that protecting myself from such negativity was necessary. She was my mother and I loved her. I felt that she wanted the best for me and that her words were chosen to bring me along in the world, to a better place. They did not. Years later I recognized the echo of my mother's highly critical nature within myself: I became aware of a negative inner voice dismissing every original thought that popped into my mind, discounting them, one by one, without going deeper. It was a powerful critical voice.

Realizing that my mother had never stretched herself toward any achievement of her own, I began to question her qualifications for being a critic. Missing from her valuable observations was praise for what was strong. Instead, the attention was always focused upon what was weak. Continuing this pattern in my own life, I gave up writing and painting. I was not good enough.

Just as I was about to sell off the paints, in walked Daniel Campbell. He was exactly what someone like me needed. Daniel never uttered a negative remark upon his student's work. Instead, he would search for something in the work that was done well, pointing to that space on the canvas and saying something like, "This works," or "That is strong." The rest of the canvas could be utter shit, but Daniel only had eyes for what worked. I am sure he understood how difficult a process it is to work at improving. If the weeds are pulled out of the garden too soon, the too shallow roots of the plants developing around it get pulled up with the weed also. Time is what is needed before criticism can be useful. Otherwise it is heavy handed and inappropriate. It was through Daniel that I was finally able to tune out my mother's voice inside of me, to develop my own voice.

 There are too many out there who proudly call themselves critics, but I have come to see that many of those critics have never tested their own skill. Careful who you listen to.


Painting in the Dark

Do you remember as a child, the sensation of playing ball in the twilight? How a ball thrown at you had different qualities, surrealistic almost. Need to loosen up a little? Take a painting - one which vexes you - and wait until dusk to work on it. The only light is weak: the quickly diminishing twilight of outdoors. Paint right into the darkness. While painting in these conditions the mind shifts gears, engaging the unconscious. Unique 'insights' happen in the dark. Its incredible… try it, you'll see.


Painting Trick

I was a power-hungry little artist who wanted total control over the creative process from beginning to end. I wanted to call all the shots, and so began a power struggle between myself and my brush stroke. Fearful to relinquish control, my painting became overly tight, and my images held little power. It was a kind of creative suicide. With nothing to lose, I decided to follow Robert Genn's advice and allow the brush to do all the work while my mind did something else: daydream.
 
It was wonderful: The pull of the 'know nothing zone' I liken to a playful undertow. Of such undertows, we are taught from an early age to be wary. In my creative power struggles, I had been consciously resisting the zone's gentle tug.

In practicing Robert Genn's exercise however, I soon felt the gentle tug  of the zone's tide pulling me in - and this time I did not resist the current. Soon, I was in deep water and the shoreline was but a speck in the distance. I floated, utterly content, like a sea otter gazing at the clouds above,
 as my brush did its work. ;)